New Beginnings

Today is the first day of school for my first baby, 5-year-old D (his birthday is Thursday – Happy Birthday D!). My feelings today have ranged from nervous excitement for him and this new adventure, to pride at what a big boy he is, to fear that he won’t fit in and will have to deal with big meanies, to sadness at how fast he’s growing up and the loss of my baby. It doesn’t feel like very long ago that I held him in my arms and rocked him to sleep, kissed his chubby cheeks, fingers and toes, and buried my nose in the intoxicating smell of the soft hair on his little head.

I blinked and now he’s 5, and school is starting – deep breath for this big step. It’s only the first of many big steps to come and it’s hard for my soft mommy’s heart to see him grow up so fast, and that’s ok. It’s ok because as much as this new beginning is wonderful and exciting, it’s also sad and I’m grieving because my baby is no longer a baby. My heart is full of pride for the person he is turning out to be but it’s also breaking for what has passed – and that deserves to be acknowledged and felt too. So no apologies here.

In honour of D’s first day of school I coloured Back to School Boy by the super talented Krista Smith at Saturated Canary. I love the big smile on his face. It reminds me that change is good and D’s going to be happy and that we’re all going to be ok – even mommy.

Back-to-school Boy

Skin: E000, E00, E21, E11, E04

Hair: E21, E25, E29

Shirt: YG91; YG95; YG97; YG99

Jeans: B91; B95; B99

Apple: R35; R37; R39

EBee xox

 

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Merci

Today begins D’s last week of daycare and next week he embarks on a new journey to school. Big news and I couldn’t be happier and I couldn’t be sadder…

My beginnings with D were rocky. A difficult delivery, sleep deprivation, trouble breast-feeding, and post-partum depression made the first few weeks after baby hellish (to say the least) and the first few months exhausting. The realization that life would never be the same hit me like a ton of bricks and I remember wanting my old life back. I loved my baby with all my heart and I would have protected him to the death, but still, life felt really, really hard and for a while I just couldn’t see the light.

With time and a lot of support from family and friends, the ratio of bitter to sweet began to change, with the “sweet” taking over more and more space. Before I knew it D was sleeping through the night, we were bonding, the sun was shining and I was on top of the world with my boy.

Where I live we get a year of maternity leave, for which I am so grateful. D and I spent our days walking, playing, shopping and seeing family and friends – life was good. Unfortunately that year went by so fast, and before I knew it I was going back to work and my baby was going to start daycare. This killed me – after all, he was just a baby and I had to leave him all day, every day in the care of relative strangers. To say I was an emotional, guilt-ridden wreck is an understatement. I was so torn up that I even wrote him a gushy sentimental letter that I may or may not give him when he’s older. But, with time, we survived the separation and we thrived. D began to acquire some independence and I enjoyed the mental stimulation and social interaction that working affords.

It was hard, but I was able to let my baby go because I felt so comfortable with where he would be spending his days. It was such a relief to know that he would be really well taken care of from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., even if it wasn’t by mommy.

So, merci to his teachers throughout his 4 years at Les petits mousses, Lucie, Mihaela, Marie-Ève, Julie. Merci to all of you for making my baby’s home away from home so warm and welcoming and special. Thank you for teaching him compassion and how to express himself and assert himself. Thank you for taking my shy little boy and helping him gain confidence and self-esteem. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. These lessons are important and I know he’ll carry them with him forever.

This is the card I made for D’s teacher Lucie. I worked really hard on this card and spent a lot of time and care to make it perfect. The image is from Tiddly Inks, and it’s called Hi There. Hope you like it.

Hi There

EBee xox 

Back to the Grind and a Colouring Class (or two)

Good day peeps! It would appear that I blinked and the summer is almost over! I keep telling myself that I’ll get better at regularly posting but alas, it appears I’m getting worse! I WILL get better, I promise ;-p

So, it’s Wednesday, August 13 and I’ve just come back to work after two wild weeks of vacation. I actually wrote this on Monday, but work has been crazy so I’m only posting now (I really AM trying). This year’s vacation was one of the most fun vacations I can remember (with the exception of that time in Barbados *sigh*), but probably the least relaxing, lol. With two kids under 5, vacations are not terribly relaxing, but boy can they be fun, and chaotic, and loud!

This year our vacation consisted of the zoo, a parade, the beach, picnics, a rib festival, pool parties, park visits, game days, and (thankfully), a bit of time to colour (big smile here). Yep, during my two weeks off, I was spoiled with two afternoons to myself to do with as I pleased, and it pleased me to colour (surprise). During my free time, I was able to colour a few fun images and even enter a colouring challenge! Yippee!

Inspired by the incredibly talented artist, Copic teacher and master, Alyce Keegan from Kit and Clowder, I coloured this fierce image by Saturated Canary, entitled, Pixie Dust Fairy (she was a freebie, yipeeee!).

Pixie Dust Fairy

I have started taking Alyce’s colouring classes over at Kit and Clowder to try and improve my skills and so far I’m very pleased with my progress – she makes it look easy, and after some (a LOT of) practice, I feel like things are starting to come together. I still have a lot to learn, but it’s a process, so I’m in no rush. For me this is all about fun and creativity, so no stress here. If it takes me a gazillion years to “perfect” my skills, so be it! I’m going to have a blast along the way.

Speaking of having a blast, my good friend, Véronique, and I have begun what we affectionately call our weekly “drunk colouring” evenings. We don’t really get drunk (much), but we do have a blast, colouring together, talking and laughing (lots of laughing). Alone time is nice, but I have to say, it’s a lot of fun to practice my hobby with someone else once in a while 🙂

Anyhoodles, during my free time, I also coloured this cutie, which I entered into a fun hair colouring competition at Kit and Clowder – wish me luck! She’s from my new favourite company, The East Wind, and she’s called Aurora, Spring Butterflies.

Aurora_butterfly

And now, back to the grind.

Ciao peeps!

EBee xox

 

April Showers and May Flowers

Long-time no speak, no? I know it has been a while, but I’ve gotta tell you, April was a rainy whirlwind and here we are, already May! Last month my family was so busy with lots of fun stuff (birthdays, Easter, parties), and some not so fun stuff (ill family members, computer crashes, crazy work schedules), but we made it out of April alive! So far May has also started out rainy and crazy, but I’m optimistic that the sunshine is on its way!

One of the fun things we got to enjoy was a birthday party for my friend’s daughter – a sweet, energetic 7-year-old with beautiful, fiery red hair and a spirit to match. I made this card for her and I call it “Happy Birthday B!” The image is called Spring Bringer (hint hint, Mother Nature), and it’s by Wee Stamps.

I was really missing the vibrancy of spring when I coloured her up so I made her as bright and colourful as possible! I also experimented with a red hair combination because I wanted her to have B’s hair colour. This project was so much fun and seeing it in its new home on my friend’s mantel makes me so happy. Usually the images I colour end up in my copic journal and it’s only recently that I’ve started to put them on cards. It really is rewarding to see how much people appreciate the work, which makes my hobby all the more fun.

Spring Bringer_wm

Happy spring, I hope yours is filled with sunshine and lots of colour!

EBee xox

Just Breathe

Life is hard right now and I’m having a difficult time. Not easy to admit, but there it is. You see, over a week ago my dad went into the hospital for something relatively harmless (he broke his arm – painful yes, life threatening, no). But he has been in cardiac intensive care ever since because of newly discovered, relatively serious health problems. Add to this an insane workload, a computer crash and the regular craziness of my life and I think it’s fair to admit that things have gotten stressful.

Not one to take myself too seriously though, I don’t want to feel sorry for myself – these things happen, no foul in admitting it, but I’m trying to keep my sense of humour intact and my priorities straight. Priority 1 – making sure my kids are fed, rested and (relatively) clean. Priority 2 – making sure I see/talk to my dad as much as I can, given that I have two little kids and a full time job. Priority 3 – making sure my mom is ok and not alone. Priority 4 – saying hello to my husband at least once a day. Priority 5 – everything else. Oh yes, and priority 6 (hey, at least it’s on the list) – taking care of me. What does this mean? It means continuing with my yoga practice despite a busier schedule. It means eating lots of fruits and veggies, despite the fact that we’re eating out more because of the craziness going on. It means getting a decent amount of sleep even though there don’t seem to be enough hours in the day. It means taking a lot of deep breaths when I’m stressed or upset, which is often when someone you love is sick. It means not beating myself up because I can’t be at the hospital every day and I can’t cook supper every day and I can’t work 60 hours/week, or even 45. It also means not feeling stressed because I haven’t coloured or blogged in about a month. These things happen and when they do some things have to get put on the back burner – even things you love.

But, I know that this is temporary and I know that my dad will be ok, my computer will be fixed and things will go back to normal, whatever that is – well, work will still be crazy, but I like it that way.

Here is an image I coloured a couple of weeks before the proverbial shit hit the fan. Her name is Miss Mirabelle, again by Hannah Lynn. I think she’s the funkiest thing ever and I love how she turned out. She looks strong to me and I think that’s one of the things I’ve learned about myself throughout this crappy situation – I’m resilient and strong and I will get through this, no problem 😉

Miss Mirabelle_wm

Skin: E000, E00, E11, R20, C2, C00

Hair: B12, B14, B16, B18, C2, C5, C7, C9

Cltothes: BV000, BV02, BV04, BV17, V05, V06, V09

Wings: A crapload of colours

EBee xox